Kano couple bucks trend in Nigeria’s ‘divorce capital’

A pair dwelling in Nigeria’s “divorce capital” not too long ago celebrated their fiftieth wedding ceremony anniversary and have been praised for his or her longevity.

In a video that sparked a flood of feedback, Mahmud Kabir Yusuf and Rabiatu Tahir advised the BBC the key of their happiness and why the northern metropolis is caught There are such a lot of explanation why marriages fail.

Mr Yusuf attributes this to his spouse’s beneficiant nature.

The 76-year-old advised BBC Hausa: “She was a really selfless particular person and she or he missed numerous issues which contributed to the success of our marriage.”

This made Ms. Tahir, who’s in her sixties, smile. The couple have 13 youngsters collectively, and she or he praised her husband’s capacity to stay calm within the face of all of the difficulties the household faces.

“He is a really affected person particular person, and I feel that is the important thing to our success,” she mentioned.

The 2 mentioned they liked and revered one another and clearly loved one another’s firm, laughing a number of instances throughout the interview.

For Hasana Mahmoud, it was a revelation. The 39-year-old divorcee has been married 5 instances and was impressed by the couple and their obvious contentment.

“Of all my marriages, I’ve solely been with my partner for 4 years, so it was refreshing to see them celebrating this milestone on social media,” she mentioned.

“My husband was good and caring throughout the courtship, however issues modified after the marriage,” mentioned the mom of 4.

“I really feel unhappy each time I hear folks confer with Kano because the ‘divorce capital of Nigeria’ and I hope issues will change,” she added.

Kano earned its nickname after divorce charges started to rise within the Nineteen Nineties, however it has by no means been in a position to shake off the unpopular label.

A whole bunch of marriages break up each month in Nigeria’s most populous state, whose capital Kano is the business hub of the north.

In 2022, analysis performed by the BBC in partnership with native authorities revealed that 32% of marriages in Kano State solely lasted three to 6 months.

The report additionally revealed that some folks aged between 20 and 25 have been via three marriages.

The dimensions of the separation is worrying, particularly for Kano’s state-sponsored Islamic company Hisbah, which handles ethics points and enforces Sharia regulation within the state.

It has a police division that enforces laws equivalent to segregation in public locations and a ban on alcohol for Muslims (who make up nearly all of residents). It additionally gives counseling providers, primarily serving to troubled married {couples}.

It isn’t unusual to see ladies lining up outdoors workplaces complaining that their ex-husbands didn’t assist elevate their youngsters.

In Kano, folks are inclined to marry younger – usually earlier than the authorized age of 18.

Others suppose Islam’s easy methodology of divorce could also be an element, as a husband can merely inform his spouse: “I divorce you” or write it down on a bit of paper and name it a day. As we speak, sending a message on social media is sufficient to finish their marriage.

Aminu Daurawa works for Hisba to deal with the excessive divorce charge. One in every of their options is to present folks a second probability to higher put together them for married life.

The company primarily organizes mass marriages for divorcees, known as “Auren Zawarawa”, appearing as matchmakers on a big scale.

A whole bunch of newlyweds attended a lavish wedding ceremony and obtained a small sum of cash to assist them arrange a enterprise and different home items.

The initiative started in 2012, though Mr Daulawa acknowledged that divorce charges remained excessive.

“We learn about the issue – that is why we arrange a committee to look at what occurs to each couple after marriage in order that we do not get the previous [same] Outcomes,” he mentioned.

However Hadiza Addo, founding father of the non-governmental group Girls and Youngsters’s Initiative, mentioned the variety of divorces continues to rise.

“Presently, our workplaces are receiving as much as 30 matrimonial circumstances every single day,” she advised the BBC.

“Nigeria’s financial troubles are the first cause now.

“Husbands exit to make ends meet and generally come again empty-handed, and that creates a rift.”

Using matchmakers is widespread in Kano as a result of singles in Muslim societies don’t mingle, making it tough to satisfy potential companions.

The one locations the place genders are combined are at universities or different greater schooling establishments, and most of the people do not go to these locations.

When folks go on a blind date, they usually get married with out realizing one another.

Actually, Mahmoud Kabir Youssef and Rabiatou Tahir have been launched to one another as youngsters by an older lady from their neighbourhood.

She thought they’d be a very good match, however it took one other 12 years for them to tie the knot, giving them loads of time to get to know one another.

One man recognized for his profitable pairings says that is key.

Rabiu Ado advised the BBC: “There may be numerous analysis that must be finished earlier than marriage to get to know the folks concerned.”

He began working as a matchmaker 10 years in the past. The 46-year-old had no intention of changing into a wedding dealer, although it was his mom’s job.

When he was working as a truck driver, a pal complained to him concerning the problem of discovering a associate.

After a number of profitable introductions, he realized he had a knack for the household enterprise.

He now advertises his providers on billboards and sees one to 5 purchasers a day. He interviews them and learns about their attitudes and expectations. Many instances, males need ladies who can earn cash, whereas ladies need wealthy males.

“Many individuals enter marriage with the improper mindset, which is why they turn out to be disenchanted after some time.”

He mentioned he has organized about 500 marriages prior to now ten years, with a hit charge of greater than 90 p.c.

He advises {couples} to take the time to totally perceive one another earlier than getting married.

Mr Addo, whose nickname is “Maidali”, which means “the one who makes it occur”, mentioned the excessive divorce charge meant some folks didn’t take marriage significantly.

“I feel the explanation why the divorce charge in Kano is so excessive is that individuals suppose I can at all times discover another person after a divorce.”

Islamic cleric Abdullahi Ishaq Garangamawa has defended the benefit with which Muslims can get divorced.

“Islam is merciful and makes marriage and divorce easier in order that individuals are not caged when issues do not go properly,” he advised the BBC.

“Prior to now, we did not have so many divorces as a result of our mother and father had been married for many years. However not too long ago, folks have began abusing the divorce course of for their very own egocentric achieve,” he mentioned.

“However primarily, not like some religions which legalize divorce irrespective of the circumstances till demise, Islam legalizes divorce when issues get out of hand.”

Mr Yusuf, who labored for the now-defunct Nigeria Airways, mentioned sharing life’s difficulties and serving to one another have been essential to his lasting partnership with Ms Tahir.

“Love can be key, as a result of whenever you really love one another, you have a tendency to remain collectively.

“My recommendation to folks getting married is don’t get married for egocentric causes however get married with honest intentions.”

His spouse agreed, including: “My very own recommendation is that individuals who wish to get married should be affected person with one another – if one associate will get indignant, the opposite ought to keep calm.”

Further reporting by Abba Awwalu